he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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