It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
