Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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