Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
