I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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