Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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