i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
