Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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