All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
