Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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