We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
