Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
