your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
