yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Help me help you realize you are a moron
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
