so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
