I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
