is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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