Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I will be naked everywhere
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
