He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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