I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
