You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize