We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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