I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
