And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize