i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
