You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
