So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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