Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
