spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
