Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
