Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
