omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
