brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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