The panties match.
I'll be right there.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
