did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
