If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
