..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
