Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
