this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
