it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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