I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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