It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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