I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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