im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
