Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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