Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
