I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize