yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
