We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
