fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
