is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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