that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
