you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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