You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
