Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Duck Duck Cougar?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
