My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
