I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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